A Paraguayan Love Story

I'm finally getting around to writing about all the craziness that has happened since my wedding almost a month ago. I've had plenty of time to do it but every time I start to write I end up just swaying in the hammock and reminiscing about my time here and realizing how little I have left and then I get sad/happy/terrified/excited/nervous and I can't possibly write through all those emotions. But since that's how I'll probably feel for the rest of the 4 months I have left here (Eek!) I'll power through it for your sake. Your welcome.

The wedding was perfect. The days leading up to it were some of the most stressful of my life and that actual day I thought nothing would go right but when I saw Elvio in his tux and he took my hand, I knew everything would be alright. By the end of the night I was completely exhausted and in a daze but I could not have been happier.

We went to Puerto Iguazu, Argentina for our honeymoon. It's a cute little tourist town and the only thing to do there is go see Iguazu Falls, one of the largest waterfalls in the world, and recently voted one of the New 7 Wonders of the Natural World. Unfortunately the day we went it was rainy and misty but the view was still spectacular. We planned to return the next day, which was warm and clear, but I ruined that by getting really sick. It was still a great honeymoon though; a nice getaway from normal campo life. And Elvio discovered the joys of breakfast in bed while watching tv.

The day we got back we were informed we had to move out of our house...again. The lady who owns it came back for a rezo, a 9-day prayer service for her dead brother. Originally she had said we could leave our stuff there and just sleep somewhere else but she changed her mind and decided we should just clear out. So now we're living in a prison-cell-sized room with our neighbors (Elvio's aunt). I shouldn't call it that because the family has been nothing but welcoming and kind to us but it's TINY and we are newlyweds. The annoying part is that it's totally normal for Paraguayan couples to continue living with their families after they are married so I am the only one who thinks this arrangement is weird. But our landlady told us a few days ago that she is leaving again before Christmas and we can have the house back. Thank goodness.

As I mentioned earlier I only have 4 months of service left. Yikes, every time I think about that it freaks me out. There's no way that's possible. How could time have passed that quickly? What am I going to do with the 4 months I have left? Well, currently I'm doing a lot of waiting around. I recently turned in a petition to PLAN International (NEWSFLASH: a snake just slithered under my hammock and I managed not to have a heart attack...) for $3500 to build sanitary latrines for 34 families in my community. I have been trying to get this money for a long time and keep getting turned down. I'll find out in January what's happening with my petition. I also just mailed off Elvio's visa application. AND grad school deadlines are coming up in January so I'll be waiting to hear from the schools that I applied to. Lots of waiting. So for now I'm going to enjoy one more year of warm weather Christmas and New Years and eat fresh watermelon and pineapple until I explode.

Every meal an adventure

There comes a moment when you've been gnawing on a piece of grisly or fatty meat for several minutes that you just have to take a chance and swallow. You hope that the minutes you've spent grinding away at it have lubricated it with enough saliva to prevent you from choking in front of a table full of Paraguayans because that would just add to the list of embarrassing things you've done lately. The time has come. You decide to take the plunge. 3...2...1...gulp. Gulp again. Success! You look down at your plate. Crap. Another hunk of fat, and the adventure continues.

October Update

I got kicked out of my house. It's a really long, ridiculous story that I have been telling to Paraguayans and Americans nonstop for the past week and I don't really want to go into it again but basically the landlady, who lives in Asuncion and hasn't even seen the house in over 5 years, was on a very different page as everyone else and frankly and little bit off her rocker.

The good news is I have found an excellent new house right next to where Elvio works and the lady who owns it said I could stay there for free until I leave. My neighbor came over yesterday and told me how sad she is to see me go. She said that I am like another daughter to her and it hurt her heart that someone could treat me that way. So that was nice to hear, even though I am only going to the next street over and will probably still see her everyday. I will put up pictures of the house when I have some more time; I'm going to start moving everything today!

Work-wise, I'm still as busy as ever. This past week I took toothbrushes and toothpaste to the school again. Last year I did the same but let the kids take them home and soon they were lost, or had fallen on the ground, or were used by all 12 members of the family. So this year I took a new approach and got the teachers more involved. We decided that each class would get a large tube of toothpaste and the students would leave their brushes at school. When the arrive, they'll brush their teeth and then again after snack/recess. So far it's worked out well; the only problem being that the 5th and 6th graders want to put their own toothpaste on and end up using way too much :).

My large project is slowly moving along too. At the last parent meeting I had 33 families sign up to participate in a sanitary latrine project. This means they either don't have a bathroom at all or their latrine now has a floor made of wood, leaves, or whatever else they could find. I've been working with the NGO PLAN International and the director thinks that he can get cement floors for all those families. He is going to contact the National Sanitation Service and let me know how that goes. So far I've been calling him everyday for a week and he hasn't done it yet but I'll keep being a thorn in his side until we get our latrines.

I'd like to end with a picture. Peace Corps is really frustrating sometimes and it seems like lately I've had more bad days than good but this makes it all worth it:

New Directions

Life in Peace Corps is rarely easy or simple.

Let me start by saying that my last project idea, the recycling thing, failed miserably. No one was interested and I learned a long time ago that you can't force people to change if they don't want to. I managed to give a charla on the importance of garbage pits and separating your trash, not burning plastic, that sort of thing and they actually dug a giant garbage pit in Conavi but that's as far as it went. Recycling is still a pretty foreign thing here so for now I'll just lead by example and leave it at that.

Anyway, a while ago, my VAC (group of volunteers who live near each other) received money from a grant to build 2 fogones, wood-burning stoves, in each site. I built my first one last week with the help of another volunteer and it turned out great. I went back to the woman's house and baked chipa guasu, a delicious cheesy cornbread-type bread, with her. She had never baked anything in her own home before and was so excited.

While we were building we had several people come by the house and watch. I've built fogones in other sites before but never in my own so I don't think people knew that I could actually build things. So this got me thinking about another project. I won't talk about all the details now, in case it also fails, because that would just be sad. But this time I have talked to several community leaders and they are on board and willing to help me. I set up a meeting with the Parent's Commission but the director of the school "forgot" to tell people about it. He rescheduled it for a day when I have to go to Asuncion and said he would talk to the Commission for me. I'm nervous that he'll find some to mess that up but there's nothing I can do about it. 

It's taken a year and half for people here to realize that I do have skills and resources to help them. Every project I have tried to do has been a struggle against people who don't want to work together or lack of resources or people just not being interested. I've been told to my face and behind my back that I am worthless and have done nothing for anyone since I got here. Usually the people saying those things either don't live in the community at all or are rich and have nicer things compared to everyone else. It seems like I've been fighting to help these people since the day I got here and I don't know why.

It would be so easy to just give up and hang out for the last 7 months. I'm getting married, I could just enjoy being a housewife for a while. But that's not why I'm here. So I'm not going to give up. I'm going to fight for this project to succeed. And if this one doesn't, I'll start another one.

Update and *Special Request*

This past week my boss came to visit my site for her 1-year visit. I've actually been in site for a year and 3 months but there are a lot of health volunteers so it took a while for her to get out here.

We met with the director of my school and talked about future projects and how to best take advantage of the time I have left. It's hard to believe but I only have 8 months left! We talked about getting a project started with the government housing community (Conavi) near the school to organize garbage pits and a recycling program. Right now they all just throw their garbage in their yards or out in the fields and other members of the community are starting to complain. There is a guy in a truck that buys plastics and glass a few times every month so they next time he passes my house I'm going to talk to him about going out to Conavi too. There are 3 lines of houses in the community so each line will be responsible for building their garbage pit and they'll get 2 oil drums for plastics and glass. The director already had a meeting with the community members and they seem excited about the project.

I'm also trying to plan a wedding which is in 3 months (AH!). Our guest list started at 50, then doubled, then tripled as Elvio kept remembering that his family is enormous. Paraguayans don't plan anything until the last minute but I thought that maybe a wedding would be different. It's not. We've talked about it plenty but no concrete plans have been made, no one has been hired. The ring order only has to be done 8 days in advance and the judge only needs a week's notice. As someone who likes to plan things in detail, this is extremely stressful for me.

We do have our honeymoon planned though! Elvio has family in Mendoza, Argentina (wine country!) and they rent cabins on their ranch. Here is their website for anyone who's interested: http://www.fincalunadeplata.com.ar/. Elvio worked their for 3 years, he's even in a few of the photos on the website. Anyway, they told us that they are for sure coming to the wedding and they we can ride back to Mendoza with them afterwards for the honeymoon.

So that's the update part of the post, here is the part where I ask you for things! I heard that Borders is going out of business and my school library is really lacking in materials. The kids at my school love when I read to them and when they get to have books to read but I only have like 3 books and really, you can only read about the Adventures of Senor Toothbrush so many times. So, we would really appreciate it if you happen to find any children's books in Spanish if you could send them my way. I saw a few Curious George books in Spanish on their website among others. I know that shipping costs are high but a few softcover books shouldn't be too heavy and my kids would love them. Thank you so much!

Oh the Weather Outside…and Inside…is Frightful

Winter is officially here. Asunción recorded an all-time low yesterday of -1.2°C (29.8°F). That doesn’t seem so bad when you can escape to a heated house, heated car, heated school or office. But here there is no central heating. Many houses are made of wood so the temperature outside is the temperature inside. Showers are horrible ordeals that only happen when absolutely necessary.

Although the sun comes up earlier in the winter, activity doesn’t start until later. People stay huddled in their beds or around fires until the frost disappears and the morning chill wears off a bit. The fire is kept going all day as water is constantly boiling for hot mate.

Winter break is coming up in July. Last year it was extended by a week because it was so cold, which seems very likely to happen again this year. I’m planning a week-long winter camp with the 5^th and 6^th graders at my school. We’ll do activities on nutrition, gardening, hand washing and personal hygiene. I’m excited; this group of kids is awesome. They are always the most willing to participate when I give charlas at the school and I’m eager to get them doing more hands-on activities that they can take how and teach their families.

In other news, Elvio and I went to Asunción on Monday to turn in paperwork to send to Washington so we can get married. He got to see the Peace Corps office and meet some of the people that work there so that was cool. I left my cell phone on the bus on the way there. I was able to get a new one but I’ve lost all my phone numbers, including ones of people back home. So if I had your number before, or if you just want to text me, you can e-mail me a text at 984610026@tigo.com.py. This is more convenient than using their website. Thanks!

Announcement

I have a very important announcement to make so listen up! Also, you may want to sit down for this. And make yourself a strong drink.

I'm getting married!! Wait...what? Yes you read correctly. I have met "the one" and we can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. You're probably wondering why you have heard next to nothing about this guy. Well, I have limited internet time and I like to blog about my work, not my love life. But here is some background:

My fiance's name is Elvio Santander. He is 27 years old and lives on a ranch with his family a few miles outside of my town. It's traditional for children to continue living with their families until they get married, and sometimes afterwards too. Anyway, we met last year at a festival in my community. He had been texting me already and I thought he was a creep like all the other guys that texted me. But unlike other texts I received, which were raunchy and gross, his were sweet. Like "you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." and "do you like chicken soup? I would love to cook for you sometime.". Haha. I found out later that he was getting advice from his 17-year-old sister on what to say to me because he was terrified. After we met, I mentioned that I was starting a garden and had no idea what I was doing. He came over the next day with his cousin and we spent 2 days setting up my garden. It turned out beautifully and that led to other projects like building my shower room, latrine, pig house and cleaning up my yard. We spent the afternoons drinking terere and getting to know each other.

I spent Christmas and New Years with his family and despite only having known him for a month, I felt accepted and at home with them. I had dengue during that time too and they all pitched in to take care of me and make sure I wasn't too miserable. By that time his family members were already asking us when we were going to get married but I just laughed it off. Over the next couple of months I didn't think it was going to work out, to be completely honest. We had a lot to overcome being from different cultures and both of us not speaking our native language (he prefers speaking Guarani but we speak Spanish to each other). We had several fights that really just came down to miscommunications and cultural differences. But we got through it and we're a stronger couple because of it.

Then my parents came. He and I had already talked about getting married but the problem was that I didn't want to stay here in Paraguay and he said he was scared to go to the United States. He had only ever left Paraguay once to work in Mendoza, Argentina for 3 years with his aunt so being scared is natural. It seemed like marriage wasn't going to be possible but the thought of us breaking up and me leaving was unbearable for both of us too. When my parents came, we spent a day out at his ranch and he got to spend a lot of time with them. They couldn't speak to each other but they figured out ways to communicate. I think he realized then that Americans aren't as scary as he thought. He also got to go to Buenos Aires with us, which was amazing. He had only ever seen the city from a bus window passing through. Seeing him ride an escalator for the first time is something I will never forget :). It was a great opportunity for him to see what else is out there in the world. We also got to meet up with some of his family that lives in Buenos Aires so that was awesome.

After that we began talking seriously about getting married and decided that although it will be hard (any marriage is difficult), it will be so worth it. So here is the plan:

It is a lot easier to get a visa to the US for a spouse than for a fiance so we are going to get married here in Paraguay. In order to do that I have to fill out a bunch of paperwork to send to Peace Corps/Washington and get their OK, which should take 3 months. So our date is set for November 19th, which gives us a little extra time but doesn't get so far into summer that it'll be too hot to think. We are doing a civil ceremony here at his house with his family, some of my volunteer friends and a few people from Peace Corps as witnesses. We're going to try to have someone film it too for everyone back home. Then, once we're back in the States we'll have another ceremony for my family and friends since they won't be able to come here.

Elvio is starting English classes with a volunteer friend of mine this next week. He also got a full-time job last month and we've started saving up money for his passport, visa and plane ticket back to the US (mine is all paid for by Peace Corps thankfully).

I know this probably comes as a shock to a lot of you because I'm not able to keep in touch very well and you all haven't even met this guy. But I have no doubt in my mind that this is right for me. I am so happy and excited and when we're together we keep looking at each and burst out laughing and say "we're getting married!!". And I know that once you meet Elvio you will know what I mean.