Every meal an adventure

There comes a moment when you've been gnawing on a piece of grisly or fatty meat for several minutes that you just have to take a chance and swallow. You hope that the minutes you've spent grinding away at it have lubricated it with enough saliva to prevent you from choking in front of a table full of Paraguayans because that would just add to the list of embarrassing things you've done lately. The time has come. You decide to take the plunge. 3...2...1...gulp. Gulp again. Success! You look down at your plate. Crap. Another hunk of fat, and the adventure continues.