An Immigration Story

My dad once told me that I usually do things the hard way. I chose to play the harp when there were numerous instruments that didn't require a station wagon or minivan to transport. I decided to join the Peace Corps rather than getting a job domestically or going to Grad School like normal people. I fell in love with and married a man who requires a green card to enter my country because, well, that's just how it happened.

Thus began our immigration journey. What? You mean that when a foreigner marries an American they don't automatically get US Citizenship? Nope. But they automatically get a green card, right? Wrong again. The only thing marrying an American does is give the foreigner the right to be petitioned for by the American for a green card. And it's a LONG process.

Step 1:

I sent a petition to US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) on January 6, 2012. It included our marriage certificate and other proof of our relationship (photos, sworn affidavits from friends, etc) and a fee. After turning in the petition I heard about a wonderful website called visajourney.com. There, people from all over the world going through the immigration process can share there stories and get helpful information. I read that this step could take between 5 and 7 months and immediately started freaking out and thinking I would have to stay in Paraguay until October or November. Luckily, since I am living abroad with my husband, my petition was automatically expedited and was approved in only 10 days! Que suerte!

Step 2:

The petition was then forwarded to the National Visa Center in New Hampshire. In this step the beneficiary (Elvio) actually "applies" for the visa. I also sent in an "Affidavit of Support" stating that if for some reason Elvio receives financial support from the state or federal government, I will be responsible for paying it back. Yikes. Both of these parts have a fee attached to them too. After the fees are paid and the documents are received, the National Visa Center completes the case. Our case was completed on February 12.

Step 3:

Next is an interview at the Consulate in the beneficiary's country. We just received our interview letter yesterday and the interview is scheduled for May 1. Before going to the interview Elvio has to have a medical checkup and receive all the vaccinations required to enter the US. At the interview they will ask him (and maybe me) questions about our relationship to make sure that it is real and that he is not just using me for a green card (unfortunately it does happen sometimes). After he passes the interview, he will return a few days later to pick up his passport with the visa in it!

Step 4:

Port-of-Entry. This is whatever point that Elvio enters the US for the first time. In our case, it'll be Dallas on May 10! Here they go over all of Elvio's documents for the last time and stamp his passport with a temporary green card until his actual one arrives in the mail. Then, finally, we go home :).

But wait, there's more!

Because we have been married for fewer than 2 years, Elvio gets a Conditional 2-Year Green Card. At the end of 2 years we have to send in yet another petition to remove the conditions at which point they send his 10-Year Green Card.

Whew. Got all that? It's a long, tedious, expensive process and most people going through it are separated from their spouses for most of it. Elvio and I have been so blessed to be together the entire time and to complete the entire process in about 4 months, when it normally takes 8-10. We've also been blessed to have extremely supportive families who have helped us so much along the way. I could easily go on a several page long rant about the hundreds of thousands of people that are separated from their families or spouses while Immigration takes their sweet time adjudicating cases, but that is a rant for another blog. The system sucks but that's the way it is. What matters now is we are almost done!

Meet the In-Laws

I realize I haven't talked much about my in-laws, which is a big mistake because they are awesome. I'll just stick to immediate family in this post because I'm still learning all the intricacies of his extended family.

Elvio's parents, Julia and Francisco. They have 5 children. They are both very quiet but two of the most hard-working people I have ever met. The only time I ever see Julia sit down to rest is very late at night. She also always knows exactly what remedy to give me when I am sick, which happened a lot the first few times I visited them. Francisco is one of my favorite people in Paraguay. I can never really tell if he's sober or not but that's kind of how it is with all Paraguayan men who spend all day in the field. His family said they didn't even know he spoke Spanish until I came along but every time I come over he starts speaking in Spanish, even if he's not speaking directly to me, something no other Paraguayan does. I told him he shouldn't feel obligated to do that because I could have learned Guarani but he said he just wants to make sure I feel like part of the family.

Elvio has an older brother named Nestor who is 30. I can't find a picture of him right now. He lives with his common law wife, Miguela, and their 4-year-old son (I don't actually know his name) in a town about half an hour from here. I only recently found out that Nestor and Miguela aren't actually married but that's very common in rural Paraguay. Weddings are expensive and there's really no advantage to it. And many times kids come first so couples just move in together and start calling each other husband and wife and forget that they never actually made it official.

Elvio's younger brother and best friend, Jorge. He is 25. For some reason almost all the photos I have of Jorge are of him cutting meat with a saw. Weird. Anyway, he is extremely quiet and every his relatives make fun of him for it. But he is really nice. And, he is getting married in April to his girlfriend of 3 years!

This is Elvio's sister, Leticia (Lety). She is 17 years old. Since the day Elvio and I started dating she has called me her sister-in-law. I'm really proud of her. She is extremely hard-working both at school and at home. She has goals in life; she wants to graduate from high school and go on to college, something not a lot of girls her age think about. She is going to graduate in December and then she plans on going to Argentina to study Biochemistry :). She also really wants to visit the US.

This is Elvio's youngest brother Rodrigo (Rody).  He is 9 years old. He is really smart for his age and extremely curious. Whenever he comes over he immediately finds something new and asks what it is and how you use it. You can tell that he really looks up to his older brothers. He couldn't wait to show Elvio his first pair of cowboy boots that he just got. He helps out at home where ever he can and promised to take care of the cow that Elvio gave me when we got to the US.

So that's the family! I am so thankful for all of them. They have welcomed me into their home and their family since day one. When my parents came to visit they embraced them too even though they didn't share a common language. And they have supported Elvio and I in every step of our journey. I am very blessed to have them in my life.

Out of the blahhhh

I've been a real grump lately and rather than depress everyone with my "debbie downer" attitude I decided to take a small break from blog writing. But I'm back to normal now (it help that I've had heaps of good news lately), or as normal as a person can be in Peace Corps, and ready for some updates.

As I mentioned, lack of work is driving me nuts. This was an unexpected side effect of getting married. When I've gone to visit people, they've actually said to me, "why aren't you at home taking care of your house and your husband?" Well I don't think my house will explode in the hour that I'm gone and my husband is a grown man and doesn't need me to babysit him. I thought I would be this great example of a hard-working super wife/volunteer but that's not what my community wants. It's frustrating but since it's summer and I only have 3 months left I'm trying to be tranquilo and embrace it.

In case you don't stalk me on Facebook, the good news that I was referring to was that I got accepted to Emory University, my top choice grad school for the Master's program in Global Epidemiology. Also, Elvio's visa petition got approved in record time. We still have several more things to do and he'll have to have an interview, which will hopefully be scheduled in April or May but the process is going a lot quicker than I expected, which makes me happy.

I went to my Close of Service conference last week. It was the first time I had seen some of my fellow G-32 volunteers in almost 2 years, which was weird. At first it was awkward for me being in such a large group of Americans (yeah, 41 Americans together is a large group for me) but it was nice to see everyone and talk about readjusting to left in the US. I realized to need to be a lot better about taking pictures to document these last 3 months.

Speaking of pictures:

Our house!

G-32 at our Close of Service Conference, aka best group of volunteers ever :)

Our dog, Modelo. Elvio gave her a haircut so she doesn't look so much like a gremlin anymore.

Rainbow! This made me happy :)

A Paraguayan Love Story

I'm finally getting around to writing about all the craziness that has happened since my wedding almost a month ago. I've had plenty of time to do it but every time I start to write I end up just swaying in the hammock and reminiscing about my time here and realizing how little I have left and then I get sad/happy/terrified/excited/nervous and I can't possibly write through all those emotions. But since that's how I'll probably feel for the rest of the 4 months I have left here (Eek!) I'll power through it for your sake. Your welcome.

The wedding was perfect. The days leading up to it were some of the most stressful of my life and that actual day I thought nothing would go right but when I saw Elvio in his tux and he took my hand, I knew everything would be alright. By the end of the night I was completely exhausted and in a daze but I could not have been happier.

We went to Puerto Iguazu, Argentina for our honeymoon. It's a cute little tourist town and the only thing to do there is go see Iguazu Falls, one of the largest waterfalls in the world, and recently voted one of the New 7 Wonders of the Natural World. Unfortunately the day we went it was rainy and misty but the view was still spectacular. We planned to return the next day, which was warm and clear, but I ruined that by getting really sick. It was still a great honeymoon though; a nice getaway from normal campo life. And Elvio discovered the joys of breakfast in bed while watching tv.

The day we got back we were informed we had to move out of our house...again. The lady who owns it came back for a rezo, a 9-day prayer service for her dead brother. Originally she had said we could leave our stuff there and just sleep somewhere else but she changed her mind and decided we should just clear out. So now we're living in a prison-cell-sized room with our neighbors (Elvio's aunt). I shouldn't call it that because the family has been nothing but welcoming and kind to us but it's TINY and we are newlyweds. The annoying part is that it's totally normal for Paraguayan couples to continue living with their families after they are married so I am the only one who thinks this arrangement is weird. But our landlady told us a few days ago that she is leaving again before Christmas and we can have the house back. Thank goodness.

As I mentioned earlier I only have 4 months of service left. Yikes, every time I think about that it freaks me out. There's no way that's possible. How could time have passed that quickly? What am I going to do with the 4 months I have left? Well, currently I'm doing a lot of waiting around. I recently turned in a petition to PLAN International (NEWSFLASH: a snake just slithered under my hammock and I managed not to have a heart attack...) for $3500 to build sanitary latrines for 34 families in my community. I have been trying to get this money for a long time and keep getting turned down. I'll find out in January what's happening with my petition. I also just mailed off Elvio's visa application. AND grad school deadlines are coming up in January so I'll be waiting to hear from the schools that I applied to. Lots of waiting. So for now I'm going to enjoy one more year of warm weather Christmas and New Years and eat fresh watermelon and pineapple until I explode.

Every meal an adventure

There comes a moment when you've been gnawing on a piece of grisly or fatty meat for several minutes that you just have to take a chance and swallow. You hope that the minutes you've spent grinding away at it have lubricated it with enough saliva to prevent you from choking in front of a table full of Paraguayans because that would just add to the list of embarrassing things you've done lately. The time has come. You decide to take the plunge. 3...2...1...gulp. Gulp again. Success! You look down at your plate. Crap. Another hunk of fat, and the adventure continues.

October Update

I got kicked out of my house. It's a really long, ridiculous story that I have been telling to Paraguayans and Americans nonstop for the past week and I don't really want to go into it again but basically the landlady, who lives in Asuncion and hasn't even seen the house in over 5 years, was on a very different page as everyone else and frankly and little bit off her rocker.

The good news is I have found an excellent new house right next to where Elvio works and the lady who owns it said I could stay there for free until I leave. My neighbor came over yesterday and told me how sad she is to see me go. She said that I am like another daughter to her and it hurt her heart that someone could treat me that way. So that was nice to hear, even though I am only going to the next street over and will probably still see her everyday. I will put up pictures of the house when I have some more time; I'm going to start moving everything today!

Work-wise, I'm still as busy as ever. This past week I took toothbrushes and toothpaste to the school again. Last year I did the same but let the kids take them home and soon they were lost, or had fallen on the ground, or were used by all 12 members of the family. So this year I took a new approach and got the teachers more involved. We decided that each class would get a large tube of toothpaste and the students would leave their brushes at school. When the arrive, they'll brush their teeth and then again after snack/recess. So far it's worked out well; the only problem being that the 5th and 6th graders want to put their own toothpaste on and end up using way too much :).

My large project is slowly moving along too. At the last parent meeting I had 33 families sign up to participate in a sanitary latrine project. This means they either don't have a bathroom at all or their latrine now has a floor made of wood, leaves, or whatever else they could find. I've been working with the NGO PLAN International and the director thinks that he can get cement floors for all those families. He is going to contact the National Sanitation Service and let me know how that goes. So far I've been calling him everyday for a week and he hasn't done it yet but I'll keep being a thorn in his side until we get our latrines.

I'd like to end with a picture. Peace Corps is really frustrating sometimes and it seems like lately I've had more bad days than good but this makes it all worth it:

New Directions

Life in Peace Corps is rarely easy or simple.

Let me start by saying that my last project idea, the recycling thing, failed miserably. No one was interested and I learned a long time ago that you can't force people to change if they don't want to. I managed to give a charla on the importance of garbage pits and separating your trash, not burning plastic, that sort of thing and they actually dug a giant garbage pit in Conavi but that's as far as it went. Recycling is still a pretty foreign thing here so for now I'll just lead by example and leave it at that.

Anyway, a while ago, my VAC (group of volunteers who live near each other) received money from a grant to build 2 fogones, wood-burning stoves, in each site. I built my first one last week with the help of another volunteer and it turned out great. I went back to the woman's house and baked chipa guasu, a delicious cheesy cornbread-type bread, with her. She had never baked anything in her own home before and was so excited.

While we were building we had several people come by the house and watch. I've built fogones in other sites before but never in my own so I don't think people knew that I could actually build things. So this got me thinking about another project. I won't talk about all the details now, in case it also fails, because that would just be sad. But this time I have talked to several community leaders and they are on board and willing to help me. I set up a meeting with the Parent's Commission but the director of the school "forgot" to tell people about it. He rescheduled it for a day when I have to go to Asuncion and said he would talk to the Commission for me. I'm nervous that he'll find some to mess that up but there's nothing I can do about it. 

It's taken a year and half for people here to realize that I do have skills and resources to help them. Every project I have tried to do has been a struggle against people who don't want to work together or lack of resources or people just not being interested. I've been told to my face and behind my back that I am worthless and have done nothing for anyone since I got here. Usually the people saying those things either don't live in the community at all or are rich and have nicer things compared to everyone else. It seems like I've been fighting to help these people since the day I got here and I don't know why.

It would be so easy to just give up and hang out for the last 7 months. I'm getting married, I could just enjoy being a housewife for a while. But that's not why I'm here. So I'm not going to give up. I'm going to fight for this project to succeed. And if this one doesn't, I'll start another one.